Mumbling Mommy

Loss is a very tough thing to encounter and hanging onto memories is important. 

A lovely way to keep your loved ones on your mind is to commemorate them, and to do so carefully, with dignity and respect. Not only can this help keep their memory alive, but also helps educate your other family members about them, such as by teaching your children about their late grandparents.

Commemorating a wonderful member of your family is more than just paying respect to them. In its own way, it can help you seek the closure you need at this tough time, and do so with a sense of care and compassion. 

Commemorative Decisions

Commemorating someone, of course, requires you to make a decision. It’s hard to guide yourself in that direction if you’re unsure as to that which they may have wanted, but remember, there are no extremely hard and fast rules to live by here unless otherwise instructed by your relative in their will or through a direct past instruction.

For this reason, sometimes the commemorative decision you make will have to be just a little creative. You may decide that planting a tree in their honor, or sponsoring a rescue animal in their name could be a great idea. We may think that a nice commemorative approach involves enshrining their memory in a way that will last for years upon years upon years, but that’s not always the best way forward, as it can leave you feeling that nothing is good enough. Little choices and decisions can be just as worthwhile, even if that means framing a wonderful picture of them and sending many copies to your family members as gifts, so they can proudly display it. Remember – as long as you keep them in mind, you’re commemorating them.

Celebrating Their Life

Of course, a great way to commemorate a relative is to celebrate their life. This might mean that after the funeral, and after everyone has had a chance to grieve, you can invite some of their closest friends and relatives together and remember their life with a jovial attitude.

This might involve some nice food, a few indulgences like some wine, some good music, and an evening of talking about them and the memories you shared. Sure, it might not be a grand gesture, and it might not be a huge consideration that lasts the test of time, but it certainly helps you celebrate someone instead of only giving into sadness and loss. We’re willing to bet that they would have been touched by your effort if that isn’t too bold to say. Most people certainly would.

Consider Their Wishes

Consider the wishes of your family member. This might not be a direct wish or an instruction in the will, but it could be something nice that they have expressed interest in a while ago. Perhaps they hope to have their ashes spread in the South of France where they took regular vacations, or perhaps they wanted to make a large charitable contribution to an institution of their choosing. Maybe they wish to be remembered within a beautiful guitar urn. Predicting their wishes left unsaid can be hard, but sometimes, it can give you a little closure if you try and fulfill them.

Category: Family

Tags: morning four podcast