Candice DeLeeuw

The title may be deceiving for there are days I worry a lot about the little miracles in our lives. You see I am a “planner.” I am so bad that weeks before any trip I begin writing my “to do” and “packing” list. This is no ordinary packing list — it is divided by the bags that are going to be packed and specifically what goes into each of them. Of course this list also includes each day, what is happening each day, the projected weather (10 days in advance) and therefore what will be worn. The suitcase is then packed in the order as to which each outfit will be worn so that there is no sorting through the suitcase. I think you get it. And yet this is just the tip of the iceberg of my planning craziness.

How These Miracles Came About

Therefore when our third child, our daughter, was born four years ago and my doctor said we should consider surgical measures to prevent any more pregnancies, we began planning. My husband was set with our two healthy kids. Although I always wanted another I could never decipher if this was a desire that stemmed from always feeling that one child was missing after the passing of our first child, Alex, in 2006. The doctors had concern because of the amount of scar tissue from my previous C-sections and believed that having a fourth C-section would be medically unsafe.

All this left the ultimate decision of being done building our family as a “no brainer.” Besides pregnancy is hard. Don’t get me wrong, I love being pregnant. However the worrying, the high-risk status, and the countless tests I can do without.

Two years later my husband took the recommendation of my doctor and got his vasectomy. He will tell you it was pain free and heck, he got treated like a king for the weekend with meals in bed, TV, and a relatively “kid free” pass. My son, then four, was curious as to why Daddy couldn’t get out of bed to play with him. My husband told him that Daddy had an owie and showed him the general area. That was that. Some sort of “man code” I presumed, or so I thought. Later that day, I overheard a neighbor say, “oh poor Daddy.” Oh crap. What is he saying to her??? I quickly asked and she replied with a chuckle that he said daddy has an owie on his pee pee. Needless to say, the entire neighborhood found out that Brandon had a vasectomy that weekend. I guess it’s better than assuming what that “owie on his pee pee” could be!

Fast forward another two years. My son is six and my daughter is four. We are enjoying life without diapers, bottles, a diaper bag, all the large baby toys and we have regained our living room for the most part and we can walk around without stepping on or over a kazillion toys. Each time a friend has a baby my husband’s favorite line is, “good for you guys,” as we look at each other and chuckle … SUCKERS! With the kids getting older we finally decided to get away for the night. With the closest grandparent being 8 hours away, getting an entire night away is few and far between, but we succeeded. We lined up our best babysitter and headed out to the city for a glorious mini weekend away. While being away we even joked around about how I was ovulating but thank goodness we didn’t have to worry about that! Phew!

Well this is where things start getting really interesting because awhile later I started to get a belly bulge, what appeared to be morning sickness, and extreme exhaustion. My husband swore it had to be something else like early menopause, fluctuating hormones, or maybe I was baking so much because I recently started my own little at-home baking business. I started to wonder “when was my last period?”

At eleven weeks I found myself at the doctor’s office with confirmation that we were indeed PREGNANT! This was definitely one of the most surprising miracles. The vasectomy has a .02% failure rate, the most effective form of birth control and yet we have somehow beat the odds. This only makes me want to fill out Publishers Clearing House that much more quickly when it arrives in the mail, because surely with these odds we are bound to win! My husband used to say in reference to his vasectomy, “they took a little piece of me that day.” Now we joke that they clearly didn’t take enough.I honestly think my husband has taken the news much better than myself. We were blessed with a new job that would cover the costs of having a new baby in the house so I believe that was his biggest concern and it has been taken care of. For me however, I have told myself for the past four years that there would be no more babies. My kids have started going off to school and with my youngest less than two years from Kindergarten I had begun dreaming of my life outside of this house even … gasp … the possibilities of a career again. And now my world has been turned upside down with the realization that what I had begun to dream will be placed on the back burner for another SIX years and who knows what I will want to do then when I am reaching forty and have been home for over ten years.As the weeks have gone by and my morning sickness has faded I feel an overwhelming amount of emotions: excitement as we see our newest addition on ultrasound, worry as I await future fetal echocardiograms and pure joy as I realize this is indeed a blessing. My husband said something many weeks ago that has really stuck with me. He said that God is rewarding our faithfulness to Him as we have continued to praise him despite our first son’s suffering and passing. As we await the newest one’s arrival, I will stand firm in my faith and believe in the blessing of these miracles.

What miracles have you had in your life recently?

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