Monday, November 12, 2012

Wannabe Mommy Well on Her Way

By Maura

With my husband Gary at a football game
 
Some little girls dream about being models, movie stars or even doctors. But all I ever wanted to be was a mother. I spent my days playing house with my neighborhood friends, and recall being appalled if they wrapped their baby dolls in a towel and not a proper receiving blanket.
I checked out the book “babies, babies, babies!” from the book mobile every week, and begged my parents to take me to an Akron baby store called Berg’s Babyland. I spent hours flipping through the enormous JC Penny catalog of the 80’s pointing to all of the baby items I would have one day for my own child. Needless to say, I was obsessed.
As luck would have it (and thanks to many dandelion wishes) my mom had a “surprise” baby when I was 8. I mean really, could anything be more wonderful for a girl like me? I doted on my new baby brother and finally had a real one to play with.

I carried this desire for children through my entire life. In college at Ohio State, I had a serious boyfriend and figured we would get married and have kids. So much so that I planned my education and career choices around this; I didn’t want to spend years getting that Ph.D. in psychology to just stay home with our kids. My little obsession didn’t always lead to the best decisions! Well, that didn’t work out, and a few years later I found myself back at home in Florida, managing a Baby Gap. How appropriate!





I was in my early 20s and was ready for that family. I took advantage of my discount and purchased items that were at rock-bottom sales prices, and of course the occasional “can’t live without” full price item. By the end of my Gap tenure, I had amassed an impressive collection. How great this will be for the new father, I thought, he won’t ever have to worry about buying these things!
Those bins traveled with me from house to house, relationship to relationship and eventually all the way to Chicago when I got married. I had my share of teasing from the men in my life, but this was my special baggage, and I wasn’t about to part with the collection.  
I have always defended my dream to be a mother. I didn’t appreciate my goal being minimized while compared to women who chose a strong career path. I still defend that choice, but can now see where I could have done both- live and learn! Had I known I wouldn’t meet and marry the right man until I was 33, and not get pregnant with my first child until I was 36, I am sure I would have planned differently. But I guess that is the scary and fun part of life, you just never know what’s coming your way.

So here we are, anticipating the arrival of our firstborn in March. And here’s the best part -- I am sort of freaked out! After 34 + years of wanting to have a baby, I am not sure I ever really thought about all that it entails. But at least we have plenty of clothes....

You can contact Maura by sending an email to mumblingmommy@mumblingmommy.com, or leave her a comment below.

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