Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Does Staying At Home With Your Kids "Suck"?

By Katie

Being a mother is one of the hardest "jobs" on earth. Not many people would dispute that. It is not hard to love your children. It is not hard to become a mother (in cases where fertility is not an issue). It is hard to find the energy needed to make it through even the most routine days as a mom (forget the days when the car is on the fritz and stomach flu strikes all of your pets at once).

My little worker bees
Working moms, stay-at-home moms... whatever way you slice it, mothering is serious business. I have a part time job, and another part time job, and fit in some work from home in there too. I'm not sure if everyone would put me in the "stay-at-home mom" category.

I think I qualify though. A few days per week, my husband packs his lunch and gym clothes and leaves me with three small children for about twelve hours straight. I cook three meals (plus whip up endless snacks), read books, clean up constantly, put them down for naptimes, pick up a preschooler at the end of his day (two younger sisters in tow) and yell "We do NOT slam doors!" about 35 times per day, every day. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry. On those days, I am a full-fledged, stay-at-home mom.

Which is why I relate to parts of a post by Dani Klein Modisett titled "14 Reasons Why Being A Stay At Home Person Sucks." I originally clicked because I was uber-offended at the title, but as I read on, I found myself nodding my head with several of the points that she made.  Here are a few paraphrases of those points. Read Dani's post to see the others.

What do you think stay-at-home moms (dads)? Do you feel like your job as a parent "sucks" on some days? What do working parents have to say?

(First published on Huff Post Parents)

-- People who work outside their home have a reason to get ready, look nice and stay groomed.

-- Hiring someone to do all of the mom work would mean paying someone for 80 hours a week of work.

-- The nagging feeling that if I just "did better" I really could accomplish it all -- mom, wife and full-time working mom who was amazing and perfect at all of those things.


  1. She raises some valid points about parenting. That being said, the title is offensive. It makes her sound like an unhappy person who should perhaps go find a job if she's that bitter about being around her children all day.

    Some of her complaints are unrelated to being a stay-at-home parent, too, like the fact that her boys will only eat white food. Dirty dishes also accumulate just as easily when both parents work. And just because you stay home doesn't mean you have to look like a slob. You can still groom yourself and dress nicely. Maybe not in a silk blouse, but still.

  2. I'm only 5 months into stay-at-home-momhood, and I can already relate to at least a few of these. Especially the last one, but that was true even when I was working full time on the outside. I'm trying very hard to get over the idea that it's possible to be perfect and I'm just failing at it because I suck. It would help if I had a husband who understood at all what kind of adjustment this is, but let's just not even get into that one.

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