Tuesday, May 21, 2013

New Vehicles Don't Come with Memories



By Rachael

Saying goodbye to my old companion.
Last weekend, I exchanged one set of keys for another and walked away from a companion I’ve had most of my adult life. I have a new, safer, more spacious vehicle that is better suited for transporting children and taking family trips. In the process, I traded in my old sedan I bought 11 years ago, shortly after graduating from college and getting my first real job as a newspaper editor.

I started waxing sentimental while I cleaned out my car the night before my husband and I bought the new vehicle. I breathed in the familiar scent of the carpeted seats and the leather and plastic interior, and memories from the past decade rushed back. I told my father-in law the next day, while he accompanied my husband and me at the dealership, that even though I was looking forward to letting go of my old car, I was a little sad now that the moment had come. My father-in law nodded in understanding.

“It’s always hard to give up a car,” he said. “You go through so much with it.”

I spent years driving my sedan around on newspaper business. As my paper’s faith editor, I traveled to just about every church in town at some point, as well as the Islamic center and the Jewish congregation. When Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ came out, my town’s movie theatre was delaying showing the movie, so two local pastors and a nun rode with me to a theatre a few counties over to watch it and participate in an interview. (A representative from the local Jewish congregation participated in the interview as well, but he wanted to drive himself.) I did the same thing with a few kids when Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie came out.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Bully Proofing: Helping Children Deal with Cruel Behavior

By Sally

Photo via bullyproject.com.
The concept of bullying is difficult for those of us who have been taught, and have taught our own children, the importance of being kind to others. Bullying and unkindness are not the standard. Of course, we don’t have to necessarily like someone all the time, but that’s not a reason to make his or her life miserable. So for those of us in the non-bullying mindset, it’s hard to accept that a person would question, disapprove or discourage our drive to pursue, to be, to achieve and to reach a personal life goal.

I am a grandmother to 5 (number 6 on the way) incredible grandchildren. Their parents affirm them and help them realize their gifts and strengths. My guess is that somewhere along the way, a bully may cause them to doubt their innate awesomeness. They may doubt a personal strength or gift due to a few cruel words. Each of my 5 grandchildren are remarkable and gifted with specific loves, hates, strengths, and hopes. For their life journey to be fulfilling and energizing, they will need to explore these loves and strengths, and have trusted others to urge them on to their personal greatness. 

I was a quiet, shy kid when I was in grade school. I would have been a good target for the more mature or mean spirited person. My kindergarten teacher gently encouraged my mother to have me see a specialist since I was unable to speak. Mom’s response was, "She talks constantly at home!" That night, Mom told me to talk at least a little bit at school every day. After the first few words, I was on a roll. If anyone was a bully target, I would have qualified … scared and unsure of myself, with a penchant for daydreaming. But, I genuinely don’t remember anyone ever bullying me. 

Three Makeup Tips for Moms


By Maddie


I’ll be the first to admit that the vast world of makeup and cosmetics is a bit overwhelming to me. Don’t get me wrong – I actually really LIKE makeup – I just can’t always seem to figure out what exactly it is that I need or what colors are best for me. 

When I was working full time, I usually wore a tinted moisturizer with powder over it, just
to cover up any red spots and even out some of the acne scars I have from my teenage years. I didn’t usually do eye makeup because either I was wearing contacts, making my already sensitive eyes even more sensitive, or I was wearing glasses and figured no one would notice. 
Lip gloss? I was lucky to remember Chapstick. Once I got pregnant with my daughter, my skin (along with the rest of my body) went a little haywire. It started peeling and flaking, and makeup just made it worse. So I went a solid 9 months without wearing any makeup at all!

But now that my skin is back to normal and I have had LASIK to correct my vision, I’ve decided that the time is right to start trying to find makeup that is easy enough for everyday use but also gives me a somewhat more polished look than my bare skin (I’m 26 and have been accused of looking 16 recently!).

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Freelance Friday: What is Ghostwriting?

By Katie

I'm coming up on my two-year freelance writing anniversary and it has been quite a learning experience. I've accepted work that made me want to take a time machine back and NOT accept it, but I've also stumbled upon some neat projects that I've enjoyed very much. I've made mistakes. Not been paid. Had to completely rewrite things because important details were left out of my original instructions. Taken on more work than I could feasibly get done on time without around-the-clock writing. 

But overall, I feel very blessed to do what comes naturally to me (writing) on a daily basis,
be home with my kids and make some money in the process.
Via thefreelancestrategist.com


When people are just getting started in freelance writing, certain niches of the market may be confusing. One of those is ghostwriting. In a nutshell, when you are hired to ghostwrite, you give up any rights to the final product and cannot claim it as your own. The work you do belongs to someone else. 

So why do companies hire ghostwriters anyway? What's the big deal about assigning a byline to the REAL writer? There are several legitimate reasons for this -- the biggest being that companies want just one or two representatives that "speak" for them through blog posts, articles and any other company documents. To build a brand, it is easier to have one, or a handful, or faces to assign to official company materials. Other times a big name in a particular industry feels pressure to write but is either a terrible (TERRIBLE) writer or has no time to make that happen. Whatever the reason, jobs for ghostwriters are not hard to find. But is it for you? Let me break it down a little more to help you decide:

The Good

The money. When big names need some help managing their writing workloads, they call in ghostwriters. This often means a slightly (to greatly) higher pay scale.  Think about it -- even the President and First Lady have speech writers. I turned in a 1,500-word (about three typed pages with some paragraph breaks) earlier this week that I charged $100 for writing. It involved more research than a typical piece of writing, but took me about 4 hours total to complete (from my house). I like this particular client a lot -- otherwise I probably could have charged even more. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Thursday Three: Things You Need to Start Doing With Coconut Oil (Like Yesterday!)


By Heather C.

 
I love coconut oil. I have been using it on and off in a variety of ways for a little over a year now. If you do a simple Google search on coconut oil you may very well be surprised by all of the uses yourself. It can almost be overwhelming at first. In general though, there’s practically nothing I don’t use it for. Seriously.

Diaper rash? Check.

Eczema? Check.

Conditioner? Check.

Cuticle cream? Check.

Grilling stir fry? Check.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Manning Up is for Girls



A guest post by Chris Piper – mygirlfriendspregnant.com 

**Editor's note: I met Chris when we were both panelists on a HuffPost Live segment on Oops Babies. When all four guests had told their stories, host Nancy Redd asked me which panelist I most related to and my answer was Chris. His approach to single parenting struck a chord with me and I was especially impressed with his website aimed at confronting the issues men face when unexpected pregnancies arise. I asked him to write a guest post for us and it appears here, unedited. Please feel free to comment here, or visit him on Oops, I Knocked Up My Girlfriend for further discussion. -- Katie ** 

There is no such thing as a real man. "Manning up" does not exist. Let me explain. 

Being a man in today's world can be confusing. Our fathers and their fathers spent their days smoking cigars, drinking whiskey neats, "reading" Playboy and grooming their beards - or something to that effect. They were raised by men, taught by fellow men and lived their lives like men. A very clear picture was painted of what a man was - and what it wasn't.

A "man's man" is a work of fiction
Nowadays, men struggle with finding an acceptable male identity. Boys are increasingly being raised by women. Adolescents look up to the soft, overgrown child-actors found in their favorite movies and television shows. Men no longer wear denim jeans and a wool button-ups or the classy three-piece suit. Men get mani pedis, subscribe to GQ and long gone are the days of chopping wood for the fire - we are tethered to e-mail 24/7 and devour our Netflix subscription to watch the latest Mad Men episodes, asking ourselves, "is Jon Hamm's character a real man?"

There is no such thing. It is a lie we all tell ourselves.

There are many misconceptions about being a man. Here are a few of my favorites from Ben Bransetter's article, 35 Lies Men Tell Themselves on Thought Catalog:

1. If I wear a fitted cap and a polo shirt, I’m a douchebag. If I wear skinny jeans and a scarf, I’m a hipster. If I wear Caterpillar boots and a camo hat, I’m a redneck. 

2. Cops and soldiers are the epitome of manliness.

3. I should require no help from anyone.

If I had only known the fallacy that is #3 when I found out my on-again off-again girlfriend was pregnant.

Monday, May 13, 2013

10 Tips for Better Professional Photo Sessions


Preparation makes a difference (before and after)

By Cara, Life's Fotos Portraiture Design

Getting your photos taken is supposed to be a fun experience -- though I know many stress over what to wear, and other pre-photo prepping.   

So I've gathered 10 tips that will help you relax and get the best photographs possible, worry-free. 

1. Get plenty of sleep- going out, staying out late, and drinking it up will not help you to look your best before a photo shoot.  These separately will do you in, and all together, you'll look more like Janis Joplin than your picture-perfect self.


2. Pay attention to the details.  Your nails don't have to be painted, but flaky half-painted nails are distracting.  You'll want fresh nails, either freshly painted, or have all the paint removed.  Check your toe nails too, you never know what your photographer has in store on the fly. This is just one example, but pay attention to any distracting things about your appearance that could affect the photo.

3. Don't show too much skin. Skin naturally draws the eye, bringing the focus away from your face.  Most of us want our faces always to be the subject of the photographs, not our knees, elbows or naked shoulders.

4. Pick clothes carefully.  Coordinate.  Solid Colors. Stay away from patterns in groups.  They are distracting, and if the patterns are matchy-matchy, it becomes a bit of a "Where's Waldo?" situation.

5. Feed your kids. Give them a good meal before the shoot. If there are kids under the age of 6,  bring snacks.  Cheerios are great; save a big treat for after.  I hand out dum dum suckers.  But only after.  

Cleveland Kidnappings: Are Our Kids Ever Really Safe?

By Katie

I try to avoid the 24-hour news cycle. I'm not anti-news, I just don't need to hear the same story rehashed one thousand different ways around the clock. 

When the story of the Boston Marathon bombing broke, I listened to the initial details. I
read a thorough piece on the suspects published by the Boston Globe. I watched for 20 minutes as the younger suspect, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, hid in a boat in a backyard and authorities determined how to safely apprehend him. That was about it. I somehow still always know what is going on with that case through a process of media osmosis. 

My husband watches MSNBC a lot, so it is on in the background. When I go online to open my Yahoo mailbox, I see the headlines of the day. Retired Air Force personnel discuss the details of those headlines over coffee at the local Panera where I work sometimes. So I keep up on major news stories, even when I'm not trying to let them invade my day. 

In general, news stories like the Boston Marathon bombing do not affect my day-to-day routine. Of course I feel sympathy for the lives lost. I got choked up when I read a statement from the family of the eight-year-old boy who was killed near the finish line. I take time to hug my children more tightly after stories break like the school shooting facilitated by Adam Lanza. I am impacted, but never engulfed in the story itself or the accompanying fear.

Well, until last week. The details surrounding the kidnapping and 10-year captivity of three young women in Cleveland at the hands of Ariel Castro have permeated my usually cool news approach. Quite frankly, the story terrifies me because it speaks directly to what I most value, and fret over, in my home: the innocence of my children. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Mother's Day Contest Winner Revealed

Congrats Debra D., the winner of our Mother's Day giveaway! Please check your email for details on how you will receive your excellent prizes!

As a thank you, the contest sponsors have some special deals for readers. These deals expire at 11:59 p.m. this Sunday, May 12th (Mother's Day). If you liked what was in the contest, take advantage of the deals below.

Our next contest will be for Father's Day, so keep your eyes open! If you would like to sponsor a prize, contact us at mumblingmommy@mumblingmommy.com.

In meantime, here are some special offers for our readers:

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Super Mom is a Lie

By Ginny


Not striving to be Super Mom!
Recently a friend posted on Facebook how much she longed to be like "one of those moms." You know, Super Mom. The mom that always has it together in public.

She never yells at her kids. She's always well dressed. I guess yoga pants don't count? Her make up is perfect. She always has organic snacks at TBall practice, and you just went through the McDonald's drive thru. She cooks three solid organic meals a day. Her house is spotless. She hosts amazing birthday parties for her children and all their sugar-hungry friends. Her kids behave perfectly in public, too! She even had time to go to the gym, do a few loads of laundry, take Fido to the vet, and put that organic meal in the Crock Pot. All in just a few hours. She also works or volunteers regularly at her child's school. Or maybe she even works full time. Okay, so you get my point. I could probably go on and on about how inadequate we often feel.

The point is "super mom" is a lie.

I was one of those moms. Or at least I tried to be. But guess what? We really can't do it all. I often found myself cranky with the kids when I should've been enjoying them. I yelled. A lot. No matter how hard I tried, my house just wasn't ever clean enough. I worked full time and strove to prove to the world that I could do it all with four kids. I was exhausted. My relationship with my kids was strained. And my spiritual life was dry. God didn't call us to be perfectionists. He called us to be moms.

When we lost our son nearly two years ago, Super Mom forgot everything. Even how to function on a daily basis. The fact that my kids were fed regularly was a miracle. I had to re-learn everything I had done so easily before.