Is There Anything You Won't Do in Front of Your Man?

By Katie

Over the weekend I read a post on Babble titled Things I'll Never Do In Front of My Husband by a woman who claims she has been married for nine years. I mention her years of marriage skeptically because some of the things on her list seem silly, if not impossible, to maintain for any relationship that is older than two weeks. The highlights include:

Do you cut your toenails in front of your guy?

• Use the restroom.
• Pass gas.
• Cut toenails.

When I posted the link on Mumbling Mommy's Facebook page, a lot of readers were appalled at the list including my own husband (who is regularly around when I do all three of the things above).  I'm glad I'm not alone in allowing my husband to see me in my less-than-perfect moments but it did get me thinking. Do I have my own set of limitations when it comes to my own marriage? Where do I draw the line between sharing everyday moments with my spouse, and being uncomfortable?

Here is my own short list of things I will (probably) NEVER do in front of my husband.

• Use a breast pump. I'm not saying men shouldn't see this -- I'm saying that I have never felt less sexy than when I was strapped to electronic suction cups and essentially milked. My husband often saw our youngest on my breast and neither of us were bothered. The breast pump, on the other hand, was something I kept behind closed doors.
• Make coffee. He hates the smell. He swears it gives him a headache. He quit a job at a bookstore once because it reeked of coffee. He threatens to get me pregnant again just so I will stop drinking coffee. So I make it before he wakes up in the morning -- on the shelf outside my kitchen window, with the window as far down as it will go with the cord still reaching inside. I drink it inside but the actual brewing happens outdoors.

$50 Best Buy Gift Card Winner

Congrats to Kathleen D. -- the winner of our $50 Best Buy gift card just in time for Father's Day! Check your email for details on how to claim your prize!

Thanks again to all the contest sponsors:

• Seaside Glass Gallery
• Pretty Colleen Handmade Jewelry and Accessories
• Proof Parsons Online Content Creation
• And Mumbling Mommy!

 Have a wonderful, safe Father's Day weekend and join us in July for our big summer giveaway contest!

 

Freelance Friday: Beware the Pitfalls of Self-Employment

By Katie

There are certainly many, many perks of self-employment and "being your own boss." This is especially true in my case because it means I can make my own schedule around the needs of my family of six. When you are self-employed, you get to make the rules (within legal reason) and have unlimited earning potential (theoretically). It's not a bad gig and you won't find me complaining.

Most of the time.

My close friends, husband and sister-in-law occasionally have to listen to me vent about the pitfalls of this crazy, unpredictable and sometimes aggravating self-employment thing. Here are the most common pitfalls of freelance writing, and self-employment in general:


1. Constant search for work. Part of your regular work routine is to look for new clients. This is true if you are a freelance writer, or sell designer baby clothing. You are constantly looking for new clients and customers to increase your income. For writers, you may be in the midst of a huge, time-consuming project with a big payoff, but you can't wait until the project is complete to look for the next one. You need a constant stream of work so that when one project ends, another is ready to begin (or has already started). Sometimes I miss the days where I showed up, someone told me what to do, I did it, I left and I got paid at the end of two weeks. I never had to seek out that work -- it was assigned to me. There is a little bit of an emotional toll associated with this constant search, too, because you never feel secure in your earning power. 

2. Non-payment. There are things that you can do to protect yourself, but the unfortunate truth is that at one time or another, you may not get paid. It could be something small -- like a rejected blog entry that took you 20 minutes to write, or it could be big -- like a client who pays you for months on time, then skips out on your final invoice for $200 (you know, as an example). I have a dry erase board next to my desk that tracks my daily earnings. I update it based on the amount of work I complete that day, under the assumption that money will come in later on. That board often determines when I can call it quits for the day, or take a day off, and it's always unsettling when I have to adjust it by even a little bit because it means I have to re-earn that money again.

How Do I Know if I Have Postpartum Depression?

By Heather C.

A little over a year ago, I found myself with two tiny four month olds and exhaustion beyond anything comparable. I was recovering from one of the most traumatic events of my life. I had these beautiful blessings. Their health was improving. The scary parts were over. But still, something didn’t feel right with me. During middle-of-the-night nursing sessions I began doing Google searches for postpartum depression. Part of me felt guilt over this. I wasn’t depressed. I was just … unsure. I didn’t have the classic signs of postpartum depression. But I was suffering. And I needed help.

There are several types of postpartum depression. In the past, these have all been lumped together under the same title: depression.

LifeStory: A Cool Little Site with Big Potential

By Katie

Father's Day is a great time to honor the awesome dads in our lives -- past and present. For those of us with dads, grandpas, uncles and spouses that have passed away, it can be a bittersweet holiday but one that should be celebrated nonetheless.

LifeStory has a JFK page

A new site called LifeStory is attempting to preserve the legacies of loved ones by providing an online place to remember those that have passed. I looked around on the site and it is actually really cool. 

There is a LifeStory page for President John F. Kennedy that had some really fascinating information, particularly as it related to his role as a father and son. I could definitely spend some time on this site learning about other people that I never even knew. It's fascinating!


Right now through June 23, the site is running a campaign. If you create a LifeStory page, you will be entered to receive a hardback book of your LifeStory posts and a 1 year subscription to Modern Widows Club Magazine (which would make a great gift if it doesn't apply to you!).

The five LifeStory pages with the most posts and comments will win. The winners will be announced on the company's Facebook page and notified by email, so head over and "like" them there too.

Pacifier: Blessing or Curse?

By Ginny

Sarah has a serious obsession with her Boo-boo. 
Momma took 4 to Kentucky just in case we lost any!

Pacifier, paci, plug, binky, boo-boo. Call it what you will, but it can be a blessing or a curse. In my house it is a blessing that has become a bit of a curse.

When we first started our family, I had made the decision to use pacifiers versus the thumb. As a former childhood thumb sucker, I knew the thumb could become a lifelong friend for any child. As much as I really wanted my children to have the thumb as an option, I knew the delayed consequences. Poor speech, buck teeth, raw and rashy thumb, and ridicule by anyone who saw could lead to poor self esteem in the end. I sucked my thumb longer than I care to admit. And my family were like thumb police, always on the lookout, telling me to "get that thing out of your mouth!" or "your dad is gonna cut that thumb off!" I knew the battle that lay ahead as a parent if I went the thumb sucking route. I loved my thumb. It was the best comfort thing I had. It had served me well!

So with some sense of beginner parenting discernment I decided to use the Boo-boo. Our oldest son took a pacifier all of six months. Easy peasy? Ya, he's the only one. The rest of my parenting career has been full of pacifier duty. The pacifier was affectionately renamed "Boo-boo" by our oldest daughter, who loved hers so much, it took two tries and over a year to break the paci habit. When we did, she found comfort in sucking her thumb. Not the results I was hoping for. As a result, she had some minor speech issues that have since worked themselves out. It seemed like a curse that would never end! Only a good mom would hurry up and break her of that "awful' thing! But, she didn't take it with her to Kindergarten!

Our youngest boy had no interest in a paci at all, which was probably a good thing because his older sister kept stealing them and hiding in her room to have a Boo-boo break! When he was about four months old he found a fleece blanky he'd been given as a gift and began to suck on the strips of fleece. Gross? Yes! It went everywhere. It stunk. I was disgusted that he could stand that wad of fabric in his mouth! But he was happy and it kept him content when he needed it most. He still loves his Boo but doesn't need it as much as he used to. And he didn't take it to Kindergarten with him!

Grandma's Recipe: Texas Chocolate Cake

by Maddie

My Grandma was a cool lady. She was born in October of 1921. She served in the Army in World War II. She was an elementary school teacher for many years. She had three daughters, six grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. She died at 90 years old on the day before Thanksgiving, 2011.

She moved into a retirement home when I was in middle school and never cooked again. Her oven still had the instructions in it, and she sometimes used it to store bags of potato chips. 


Unfortunately, she had been suffering from dementia for quite some time before she passed away. When my mom and I realized that her mind wasn't as sharp as it had previously been, I thought it was time to ask her for a few of her recipes.

Now, I have to tell you that my grandma made some strange things. She very seldom cooked what we would consider a cohesive meal, with a meat, starch, and vegetable. One of my favorite things that she made for me was a pile of mashed potatoes topped with taco-seasoned ground beef, cheese, and sour cream. She made a killer rice and beef gravy, but the pot roast that went with it was often a little chewy. However, she made the BEST desserts! The two that stick out the most in my head are her peach poundcake (usually cooked in a coffee can) and her Texas Chocolate Cake.

Texas Chocolate Cake has become something of a legend within my immediate family. It is honestly the best chocolate cake recipe I've ever made, and it's pretty hard to mess it up. The cake is so moist that you absolutely cannot take it out of the pan (I've tried, it didn't end well). The cake itself has a mild chocolate flavor, but the frosting is a little more intense and fudgy.

So why is it called Texas Chocolate Cake? I have no idea. Neither does my mom, and neither did my grandma. The recipe bears a lot of similarity to the Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Sheet Cake, but personally, I like the Texas version better.

Win a $50 Best Buy Gift Card for Dad!

Dads tend to be notoriously tough to buy gifts for but with the gift card we are are giving away, you will be all set for Father's Day! The winner will receive an electronic gift card code that can be printed out from a home computer and put in a Father's Day card in time for the big day.

One winner will be randomly selected at 5 p.m. EST on Friday, June 14th. 

Check out the many ways to win in our cool contest widget below, and be sure to check out more information on our sponsors!

Seaside Glass Gallery: When you are searching for a unique gift, Seaside Glass Gallery has you covered. Handcrafted glass jewelry, wine accessories and other home decor are all created and painted by hand. Head over to their Pinterest account, or visit their retail site.

Compact mirror, via Seaside Glass Gallery

Pretty Colleen: The handmade jewelry and accessories made by Pretty Colleen owner, and Mumbling Mommy blogger Maura, are one-of-a-kind. Now that she is a new mom, Maura likes to make elegant pieces for nights out, or just a trip to the park with the kids. Check out the Pretty Colleen Creations Pinterest board and visit her Etsy shop.

Via Pretty Colleen

Proof Parsons: Specializing in online content, Proof Parsons is a small business owned by mom and Mumbling Mommy creator Katie. The company writes between 60 and 75 blog entries per month, and does editing, proofreading and SEO consulting too. Take a look at the Proof Parsons blog and check out her discount for children's charity donations.

The Seed of “Good” Continues

By Sally

I am a part of a Relay for Life team.  Teams throughout the country develop relay teams to complete an overnight fundraising event for cancer research, as well as to honor survivors and those lost to cancer. Also, a means to heighten the awareness that we are still on the search for prevention and cure for cancer.

Our Team, “The Girls”, includes counseling, custody, and educational staff from the juvenile correctional facility where I work.  We have been getting funds together with bake sales, making par cord survival bracelets, and today we did a garage sale.

It was your typical garage sale, all kinds of “odd bits” of things...baby clothes, kitchen items, toys, a roll of wire, a Christmas Tree, pillows, shoes and on and on.

And we did it in the parking lot of my Daddy’s bar. 

Dad’s been gone a long time, so has mom now.  But they both put a lot of sweat and hard work into making their dream restaurant/bar successful.  The current owner was a friend of mine in high school.   I think he somehow inherited my parents’ heart.

Freelance Friday: Tax Breaks for Freelancers

By Katie 

When you do your taxes for the first time as a freelancer, you might be in for a rude awakening. Remember all those awesome checks you got in the mail, or that hit your PayPal account, and were for the full amount? You know, the tax-free ones? 

Of course you never thought that they were actually tax-free, but it was nice to spend the money when it came in. While some freelancers anticipate the hit their bank accounts might take when tax time rolls around, others get a big surprise. I was lucky enough to see the true impact of my freelance earnings on our household tax liability during a year that I only did it for seven months (and made more than that, paying plenty in taxes, in the five months prior). 

The 2012 tax year was my first full year as a full-time freelancer and so I really buckled down, kept receipts and paid attention to those items that could help me later when I went to enter the info from all those 1099 forms before April 15th.

I am not a tax professional, or a financial expert by any stretch. These are just the tips I've found helpful as I did my own taxes. If you freelance and see that I've missed something, please add it to the comment section below. This is not a complete list, but merely a starting point. Here's what I've got so far:

Tax Break #1: Your cell phone bill. You cannot deduct your entire family plan cell phone bill, but you can get a break for some of it. First, determine what percentage of the time you use your cell phone for business purposes -- calls, texts and emails. This might be something you want to track for a month or two prior to tax season to get an accurate number. Next figure out which portion of the bill applies to JUST your service. Take that amount of the bill and multiply it by the percentage of time you use it for business. Take that number and multiply it by 12. Voila. You have the yearly amount you can deduct. 

Example:
Amount of the bill that covers your services: $50 out of $200
Percentage of time you use phone for work: 75%
Formula: 50 X 0.75 = $37.50 X 12 = $450

Tax Break #2: Your office space. If you work from home, you cannot deduct your entire rent or mortgage payment (I wish!). Instead, do you best to determine the area in square feet of your official work from home space in comparison to the rest of the house. For me, it was an 11 X 11 room in a 2,200 square-foot home. My workspace represented 5.5% of the area in the home. If my rent payment was $1,000 (working some really easy math right here!), I could deduct $55 per month or $660 per year.