Over the weekend I read a post on Babble titled Things I'll Never Do In Front of My Husband by a woman who claims she has been married for nine years. I mention her years of marriage skeptically because some of the things on her list seem silly, if not impossible, to maintain for any relationship that is older than two weeks. The highlights include:
|Do you cut your toenails in front of your guy?|
- Use the restroom.
- Pass gas.
- Cut toenails.
Here is my own short list of things I will (probably) NEVER do in front of my husband.
- Use a breast pump. I'm not saying men shouldn't see this -- I'm saying that I have never felt less sexy than when I was strapped to electronic suction cups and essentially milked. My husband often saw our youngest on my breast and neither of us were bothered. The breast pump, on the other hand, was something I kept behind closed doors.
- Make coffee. He hates the smell. He swears it gives him a headache. He quit a job at a bookstore once because it reeked of coffee. He threatens to get me pregnant again just so I will stop drinking coffee. So I make it before he wakes up in the morning -- on the shelf outside my kitchen window, with the window as far down as it will go with the cord still reaching inside. I drink it inside but the actual brewing happens outdoors.